And All My Life is what it seems... done with one (fill in the blank) and on to the next one. We were joking with the kids this weekend when they asked 'Are we there yet'? Our answers string into a comical game of 'Here and There' between the four of us as we clock on another 200 miles in a weekend on David's truck.
'We are here' David will say. I'll chime in 'When we were back there, we couldn't wait to get here... when it was there and there was here and now we're here and still wondering when we'll get there'. We all laugh and the kids play along with the game... but upon (grown up!) reflection... I really would like to learn better to be 'Here' and enjoy it ... rather than always racing ahead in my mind to be 'There' only for 'There' to become here and find myself wanting to go 'There'. :)
That said... I've passed a Big Milestone in my reconstruction! The expander fills are DONE! and I will not have to go back to see my plastic surgeon until early August to have my exchange surgery done. In the meantime I will be thankful that my skin has finally settled down and I'm no longer dealing with daily dilemmas of 'blisters/draining/and fear of infection' *huge sigh of relief*!! I have been spending some time on a message board where members are able to share stories and photos of their journey with Breast Cancer. I have learned beyond doubt that my situation could be far worse... in dealing with a similar diagnosis and far less success with healing after surgery. I've seen some results and read some stories that make my experience look like walk in the park. I've taken the hit on the head and will keep my mind focused on my good fortune!
I now will spend the next three months taking care of my still healing and 'expanding' skin. I still can't even imagine how great it will feel to have the implants in my chest instead of what now is akin to 'turtle shells' (I think my friend Liz after a recent feel of my expanders, said they felt like 'plastic tubs' haha) ... but I'll leave that for when I get there... for now I'll be happy to be here. To be well... and without fear of Breast Cancer.
I was inspired recently by a book called 'The Victoria Secret Catalogue Never Stops Coming... And Other Lessons I Learned From Breast Cancer' by Jennie Nash and have decided to start writing my first book :) I had a few emails back and forth with Jennie and shared my gratitude and plans to put my story on paper. She was encouraging and suggested that I might even like to take some writing classes at UCLA that she gives. I thought LA would be a long commute for school... and in my general fashion... I like to learn more by the 'sink or swim' method... and so I shall jump in and see if I can keep myself afloat.
I believe my experience with Breast Cancer is just that 'My Own'... but I also know that if other women shared what they learned in going through these difficult times... the journey could become a little easier for others. I hope that by telling my tale... that maybe someone else won't feel as alone. Maybe I can help other women get 'There' ... while still being present 'Here'.
Lisa :)
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