This is Dr. Okorn... Lisa are you okay?

My phone rang at exactly 9 this morning.  The number showed as 'restricted', when I said 'hello' the voice on the other end said 'This is Dr. Okorn (my family doctor, whom I've seen once)... I've been looking through all of the reports that have been coming back since I saw you and I just wanted to call to make sure you are okay'.  We had a very nice conversation and I took her through pretty much all that's happened.  I was feeling like I was talking too much and that she probably didn't have time for 'chatter' ... then she'd ask me another question :)  She not only asked about the care I was receiving and if I fully understood all that was happening, but how I was handling all this emotionally... asked if I have someone I could talk to... asked if I was sleeping okay... eating enough.  She suggested I join Gilda's Club (created in memory of Gilda Radner) and I believe I will.  I know that the best way to feel understood in a situation is to connect with others who have been there.

Anyhow... where everything is now... I attempted to have an MRI done yesterday and after I'd changed into 'hospital gear' was met by the 'head honcho' who operates the machine.  He told me that after reviewing my medical history chart (which I had just filled out in the waiting room) that not only would I not be having an MRI (today or any day) but that he wouldn't even feel comfortable letting me into the room where the equipment is.  One of the questions on the sheet was 'Have you ever had a arterial clip'?  I checked it off of course, as I had brain surgery for an AVM when I was 15.  He explained that all clips such as these are now made of titanium, where in the past they used stainless steel.  Without knowing exactly what the clip is made from it is unsafe to put me in the machine.  Or as he so eloquently put it "I don't want us to be in the paper next week" :|  

*I'd like to elaborate for a moment on the interaction I had with this person* 

I fully understood his concern and of course agreed that it wouldn't be safe to have the procedure.  To put it in simple terms, the MRI is a gigantic magnet (apparently the one at Swedish is 'super duper'!) and if I have a metal clip on an artery in my brain which keeps it from rupturing... hence keeps me alive... The last thing I need to do is have it pulled off.  He explained in somewhat graphic detail what could have just happened had they done the MRI and then asked what my upcoming surgery was for.  When I told him 'Non Invasive Breast Cancer ~ DCIS'.  He said "oh, well, no big deal. Some people choose not to even have DCIS treated... they just ignore it."  He paused for a minute... thinking then said "On the other hand, my co-worker Anne just had a Bilateral Mastectomy done for DCIS" and shrugged.  Sometimes I'm glad it's 'me' that people say these things to... even though it's entirely inappropritate.... I think I have the ability to sort that out without letting it throw me for too much of a loop.  

*end of elaboration (aka RANT!)*

The closest I could come to finding information on what type of surgical procedures/equipment that would have been used in Eastern Canada in 1980 was to contact the Neurological Department at Dalhousie University.  I now have a good line of email communication going with someone there.  She has all of the information I could provide her and is actually going to be on site at the Children's Hospital this coming Monday.  She will fax any info she can find to my surgeon.  

So... that means that right now I'm kind of back at 'Square ? 2 maybe'?  I have an appointment scheduled to see Dr. Lee (surgeon) on Monday/Oct/6 and will at least get to find out where her thoughts are on all of this.  As I said to Dr. Okorn this morning My biggest fear right now is not knowing whether the surgeon is going to say "let's just do a lumpectomy and maybe follow up with rads & medication" or "let's whack everything off" :(  Dr. Okorn replied "I think it's going to be somewhere in between.  She's a great surgeon and a very good person and I think the two of you are going to have a lot of talking and decision making to do together".  

  Am I okay... ?  I don't know that there's an option? :)